JtHm and IZ, a Musical
by D.L. SchizoAuthoress
Summary: An evil, evil idea! Jhonen's characters--singing! Read and laugh, or read and don't and swear that I must pay! (Pretty Much Complete, because I'm a lazy sod.)
1. BEGIN!--Zim starts the dumbness insanity...

"JtHm and IZ, a Musical"  
or  
"Brutal Comedic Butchering of JCV's Characters!"  
  
Act I, Scene 1: Zim  
  
[Enter Zim and Gir]  
  
ZIM: (monotone)   
Hi. I'm Zim.  
  
GIR:   
That's him!  
  
ZIM: (more enthusiastic)   
I'm an Irken Invader, an alien from space  
And I'm here to enslave the human race!  
  
[Montage of Zim's awesome, scary alien weapons in the background]  
  
ZIM:  
I've got lots of cool hardware to help me in my task  
But in conqueror's glory I never get to bask  
  
GIR:  
Why?  
  
[Zim gets all angry-faced and stalks across the stage as he shouts the next lines]  
  
ZIM:  
Because!  
That Dib!  
That conspiracy freak!  
He always thwarts my plans and makes me look weak!  
  
GIR:  
I'm dancin' like a monkey!  
  
ZIM:  
But I, someday, someday I will win  
And you wormbabies will bow down to Zim!  
Yes! The super-duper powerful evil and frightening scary kind of emperor type alien   
mastermind ruler of the planet Earth....  
  
ZIM and GIR:  
Invader Zim! 


	2. SUMMARY!--Nny sings of JtHM happenings!

"JtHm and IZ, a Musical"  
or  
"Brutal Comedic Butchering of JCV's Characters!"  
  
Act I, Scene 2: Nny  
  
[Enter Nny. He bows.]  
  
NNY:  
I'm the Homicidal Maniac, my name is Johnny C.  
But when you're in my torture chambers, you can call me Nny.  
I've traumatized a little kid, my neighbor, he's called Squee  
I tried once to kill the girl I liked, her name was Devi  
And then I went to the 24/7 at 2:15  
I killed the self-appointed beverage dictator over my Cherry Brainfreezy!  
And then I was going to kill me!  
  
But I couldn't, there was one bullet in the gun  
Damn, I used it on someone else. That's no fun  
  
But I saw that they had Fiz-Wiz in Cherry!  
So I was happy!  
Later, I set up a suicide device and then Devi called me!  
  
[Enter Mr. Fuck and Psycho-Doughboy. They exit immediately after saying their lines.]  
  
MR. EFF:  
And so he died  
  
D-BOY:  
And no one cried  
  
NNY:  
Because there was no one left to be!  
Not even that vile stuffed bastard Shmee!  
I went to Heaven and acquired the power of head-explody!  
But they didn't like what I'd done and got rid of me!  
  
I didn't belong it Hell  
And that was just as well  
They were all assholes and that's all that I will tell.  
  
Just because you too do horrible things with salad tongs  
Doesn't mean we'll get along  
  
I killed that 'Darkness' schmuck Jimmy  
Because he got a rape-murder pinned on me  
Mr. Samsa's like who I want to be  
But now I'm in conflict with Reverend Meat  
It's times like this I really miss Nailbunny!  
But now I'll go and visit my friend Squee!  
  
Good-bye.  
  
[Exit Johnny, running off-stage with a knife in hand.] 


	3. CONFLICT!--Brainfreezies!

"JtHm and IZ, a Musical"  
  
or  
  
"Brutal Comedic Butchering of JCV's Characters!"  
  
Act II, Scene 1: The Evil Brainfreezy Song  
  
[The local 24/7. Enter Zim, Gir (as puppy), Gaz, Dib, and Nny.]  
  
GIR: (dancing like a monkey)  
  
Ooh! Brainfreezy! It's my favorite show!  
  
[Dib rolls his eyes. Gaz grabs two cups and fills them with Frosty Peanut, shoving one into Dib's hands.]  
  
GAZ:  
  
Now you can't say I was never nice to you.  
  
DIB:  
  
I'm allergic to peanuts!  
  
GAZ: (singing and looking rather peeved to be doing it)  
  
Duh, dummy-boy  
  
Frosty Peanut's really soy!  
  
DIB:  
  
Oh. Okay.  
  
NNY:  
  
I'm in the mood for a Cherry Doom…  
  
[Nny grabs a cup and jiggles the Cherry Doom handle. Nothing happens.]  
  
[Meanwhile, Gir is dancing around Zim.]  
  
GIR: (singing)  
  
Frosty Peanut, you're for me-nut!  
  
Oh, yes Peanuts are for me-nuts!  
  
ZIM: (throws money at Gir)  
  
Arrg! Buy your stupid Earth-drink!  
  
[Nny is having a nervous breakdown directed at the store clerk.]  
  
NNY:  
  
All I ever wanted was a Cherry Doom!  
  
I sometimes wonder why I ever leave my room!  
  
You are evil for denying what I need,  
  
And as such…you must BLEED!  
  
(starts slashing at clerk)  
  
[Zim ignores this and selects an Icy Ham Freezy. Dib and Gaz are checking out the chip selection in the back of the 24/7 and don't notice the homicidal maniac.]  
  
ZIM: (speed-slurps Freezy) (clutches head in pain)  
  
Aaauuuhhhh! Evil, booby-trapped drink!  
  
Brain function shutting down…(turns to Gir) Hey, you look like Pink!  
  
Why is it that all you Earth-piggies are merry?  
  
My Icy Ham concoction tastes like cherry!  
  
[Nny pauses in his decorative slashing and picks up Zim's dropped cup, taking a swig.]  
  
NNY:  
  
Cherry Doom! I love you!  
  
[Curtain] 


End file.
